Friends, a reader kindly wrote to me to let me know that a word I used in my essay didn't work for her, as to her, it was derogatory and had a negative tone. It was "flaming" in the phrase "flaming gay." I do not wish to cause anyone discomfort or distress. To me, the phrase is positive and joyful (I would love to be described this way) but intent and impact are different, and impact matters more. I apologize if this phase struck anyone else in a painful way. I am grateful to her for letting me know.
I do recognize this reader’s perspective. Your word’s context was light hearted but in these fragile times it may carry a much heavier connotation. I still thought the worker’s reply was precious and made me smile 😊
One way I’m protecting my tenderness is with this place are other art-full, care-full spaces being where I go when I am on my phone. Art, community, care, and service. Repeat. That’s how I’m protecting my tenderness.
I’m not on IG or FB (left those spaces 3 years ago). I don’t have any work or news stuff or email on my phone. I use my phone as a phone, a calendar, it’s where my music + books + podcasts + photos live. I do read here, substack is my only externally online social type app on my phone. Otherwise I collage + write on my phone when I use it which is only a few times a day.
Funny, I had the same thought about protecting our tenderness just last night or this morning. Thanks for posting, Abriel -- an important reminder about the goodness of most of humanity.
Thank you for this. I love your title, “protect your tenderness“ what a beautiful thing to say and think. My hometown is New Orleans although I live far from there today a piece of my heart is always there. Could you tell me where this picture is from and where the walls with all the writings are located? Thank you.
You are always a New Orleans native! I took these pictures at the memorial wall which is on Bourbon St. where the truck attack on Jan 1, 2025 began. The corner of Bourbon and Canal. I'm glad that the words moved you.
Thank you for your beautiful & heart warming post & sharing the “ wall of love “ - I am now ( not always though) in my mature years(72yo) I refuse to use that nasty word that refers to mature adults as “ old” ! At times I am an adolescent, other times the rambunctious toddler may appear ! I tend to think I am a flexible , changing human and so have a variety of me - after all if you believe in astrology I am a Pisces- need I say more 😊🙄. I deleted all FB, Instagram, social media - don’t regret at all. Protecting my tenderness in that area . I developed the philosophy of having creating my own bubble , I can open it however much I want or keep it closed. I have kindness, caring , compassion & love in my bubble - meanness, anger, negativity and fear must stay away . I try each day to remember a kind work or gesture, as well as the Buddhist philosophy of “ thank yous” 3 before getting out of bed, 3 before going to sleep - it’s amazing how many more you can have , and the amount of prayer that comes . I presently am ill- pneumonia however I am thankful for Substack - I have some communication , good reading, I received and have great medical care (!!). I have a warm home, food ,a husband & son who love and care for me when needed . I am very good in spite off the crazy,chaotic society at present . Again thank you for sharing you peace, and tenderness, I hope I shared some of mine with you .Take care, stay safe, and well!❤️
Friends, a reader kindly wrote to me to let me know that a word I used in my essay didn't work for her, as to her, it was derogatory and had a negative tone. It was "flaming" in the phrase "flaming gay." I do not wish to cause anyone discomfort or distress. To me, the phrase is positive and joyful (I would love to be described this way) but intent and impact are different, and impact matters more. I apologize if this phase struck anyone else in a painful way. I am grateful to her for letting me know.
I do recognize this reader’s perspective. Your word’s context was light hearted but in these fragile times it may carry a much heavier connotation. I still thought the worker’s reply was precious and made me smile 😊
thank you for your reflection. me too.
One way I’m protecting my tenderness is with this place are other art-full, care-full spaces being where I go when I am on my phone. Art, community, care, and service. Repeat. That’s how I’m protecting my tenderness.
I love that, Sera. Have you removed other spaces from your phone, so as not to go there? Art, community care, and service. A mantra!
I’m not on IG or FB (left those spaces 3 years ago). I don’t have any work or news stuff or email on my phone. I use my phone as a phone, a calendar, it’s where my music + books + podcasts + photos live. I do read here, substack is my only externally online social type app on my phone. Otherwise I collage + write on my phone when I use it which is only a few times a day.
I stand in admiration, Sera. I am going to try taking email off. It sounds soothing to have the phone be just phone, calendar and enrichment.
Funny, I had the same thought about protecting our tenderness just last night or this morning. Thanks for posting, Abriel -- an important reminder about the goodness of most of humanity.
beautiful, the way thoughts arise simultaneously. <3
Thank you for seeing the tenderness on the wall, being open and sharing humor.
i appreciate your words. thank you for reading.
Don’t let the fascists steal your joy. How stupendously timely this phrase is for me. Thank you Abriel ♥️
I'm happy to hear it, Maureen. Share it around!
Thank you for this. I love your title, “protect your tenderness“ what a beautiful thing to say and think. My hometown is New Orleans although I live far from there today a piece of my heart is always there. Could you tell me where this picture is from and where the walls with all the writings are located? Thank you.
You are always a New Orleans native! I took these pictures at the memorial wall which is on Bourbon St. where the truck attack on Jan 1, 2025 began. The corner of Bourbon and Canal. I'm glad that the words moved you.
Thank you for your beautiful & heart warming post & sharing the “ wall of love “ - I am now ( not always though) in my mature years(72yo) I refuse to use that nasty word that refers to mature adults as “ old” ! At times I am an adolescent, other times the rambunctious toddler may appear ! I tend to think I am a flexible , changing human and so have a variety of me - after all if you believe in astrology I am a Pisces- need I say more 😊🙄. I deleted all FB, Instagram, social media - don’t regret at all. Protecting my tenderness in that area . I developed the philosophy of having creating my own bubble , I can open it however much I want or keep it closed. I have kindness, caring , compassion & love in my bubble - meanness, anger, negativity and fear must stay away . I try each day to remember a kind work or gesture, as well as the Buddhist philosophy of “ thank yous” 3 before getting out of bed, 3 before going to sleep - it’s amazing how many more you can have , and the amount of prayer that comes . I presently am ill- pneumonia however I am thankful for Substack - I have some communication , good reading, I received and have great medical care (!!). I have a warm home, food ,a husband & son who love and care for me when needed . I am very good in spite off the crazy,chaotic society at present . Again thank you for sharing you peace, and tenderness, I hope I shared some of mine with you .Take care, stay safe, and well!❤️